7 Days...

My time as a stay at home mother is quickly coming to an end. I officially begin work in one week. 7 days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes. But who's counting?

When I think about going back to work, I struggle with mixed emotions. On one hand, I'm looking forward to what this school year will bring, especially since I'll be teaching social studies. (Yea!!!) On the other hand, I get a knot in my throat and begin to feel anxious.

I am so blessed that my mother is going to watch Xavier during the school year. He is going to be in the most wonderful hands that I could ever ask for. I'm so grateful that my mother is willing to help me out in this way. But...

Crazy as it sounds, I don't want her to watch him. I WANT TO WATCH HIM. I want to be the first one to see him growing and developing. I want to be the first one to see him sitting on his own, crawling, talking, walking. It's completely nuts, I know. If you could see inside my mind right now, there would be a little Nancy laying on the ground, throwing a temper tantrum and sobbing her eyes out.

But, I'm an ADULT. So, I will suck it up and deal with the fact that I won't get to be there for many of my baby's firsts anymore. That I won't get to spend the whole day staring at his sweet face and loving on him. That, as my mother likes to joke, I'm "spoiling him with too many boh-bohs (kisses)." It will definitely be an adjustment for all of us.

In 7 days, life as I've known it for the past 5 months will change. It has been such an incredible 5 months. So hard and yet so unbelievably precious. Having Xavier really helps me to gain a better understanding of God's love for us. The love that I have for this little boy is nothing compared to God's love and yet this love that I have for my son crushes my chest and takes my breath away. If the love I have for Xavier is that intense, imagine how much more intense is God's love for all of us? Astounding.